THE POWER OF BELIEFS

When I was younger I realized that the “love” I was taught was conditional.  I was angry because I wasn’t loved unconditionally.  I dreamed unconditional love existed, though at the time, really all  I wanted was to be accepted. I wanted my heroes to like me.  I imagined that’s how the angels loved…unconditionally.  There was one problem…my love (or what I thought was my love) was conditional as well.  I was judging others for doing exactly what I was doing. 

I remember a time when I put a penny in my mouth and Mom yelled, grabbed the penny out and was hysterical about the fact that doctors would have to pump my stomach if I had swallowed it.  I was scared to death and felt horribly guilty that I had displeased Mom so much.   

At that time I made an unconscious decision to not have money in my life…and when it would come to me, as it would, I would find ways to get rid of it.  I’m not sure if this was to please Mom (desire) or just keep myself from experiencing that anger (fear) and sheer terror she had expressed about my having the penny in my mouth.  Oh yeah, she also said it was dirty.  So the confused conclusion (belief) became “money was dirty and it would cause me to go to the hospital.”  Good luck trying to get wealthy with that belief system.   In fact, that belief was convinced it was in my best interest to not have money.  That’s how strong the belief was.  In the early 80’s I was in sales and earning more than I ever had in my life. I was good!  Guess what?  You got it. I got ulcers.  My stomach started bleeding…everyday.  Guess where I ended up?  In the hospital, as they healed up the four ulcers.     Hey, that belief was accurate.  If I have money, I’ll end up in the hospital with stomach problems. I blamed the ulcers on a lot of factors – stress at work, stress at home…just a lot of stress.  But the real stress was the simple fact that I was afraid that money was going to make me sick.  When I got some money, I did get sick. But the money didn’t make me sick, the belief did. It was then I began to understand a simple concept…”your experiences confirm your beliefs.”  Meditate on that one for a moment.  I got this understanding in the mid 80’s.   If you don’t enjoy what you are experiencing, change your beliefs.  To change your beliefs, you must first know what they are.  How do you know what you really believe, as opposed to what you think you believe?  Check your experiences.   See how it works? So today I sit on the precipice of great wealth, knowing a couple of things.  The money won’t hurt me.  My beliefs won’t hurt me.  I have healed those beliefs.  How?  By loving those beliefs unconditionally!  Errors only need to be corrected.  They don’t have to be attacked, ridiculed or humiliated.  They just need to see that the current line of thinking is counter productive.   The belief, as is the case with most false beliefs, was created in a moment of sheer panic by a 3 year old…and that 3-year-old was making the best decision he could at the time.  That 3-year-old made that decision out of love and concern.  If you thought something was going to harm you, you’d avoid it wouldn’t you?  If you thought something was going to harm your children, you’d warn them to stay away from it wouldn’t you?  Sure you would.  So there’s no reason to blame Mom for her panic or blame Billy for the decisions he made.  Everyone at that moment was doing the best they could.  There’s nothing to judge, nothing to be angry about and nothing to hold any grudges about. That’s what the 3-year-old was doing…protecting me! He saw protecting me from the harmful side affects of money as his role and he kept doing it all my life.  Unconsciously.  Have you ever had some money and the next thing you know it’s gone?  You spend a little here and a little there, you eat a little nicer and the next thing you know, the money is gone!  “Dang, where’d my money go?”  That silent, invisible belief was at work in my experiences.  The little guy was just looking out for me.  But now he understands that his role is complete.   I won’t be swallowing pennies or putting money in my mouth, so it’s OK for me to have money!  I know this sounds silly to some of you, but you may not realize how much your inner child has been running your life.  I appreciate that kid in me.  He’s a beautiful soul looking out for my best interest.  And because he loves me unconditionally, he’s willing to leave, knowing he’s done his job and his work is completed now.  He sees the error in his thinking and from a new frame of reference he is able to let go of the need to protect me from the dangers of money.  There is no danger. 

Does this make sense to you?  Enjoy your day!  Leave a note if you’d like.  Tell me the one thing you’d really like to learn about universal, unconditional love.

Is Real Love Actually Friendship

Around 1981 I wrote a song that said essentially:

“We treat people who we like, a lot better than the ones we love. And I got this funny little feelin’ that our marriage didn’t come from above.  So I don’t want you to love me, ’cause the price is too high to pay.  If you don’t mind please just like me - and we’ll get along better that way!”

That’s when I started really looking into this whole concept of “love.”  Because I know that real love is unconditional.   The angels love you unconditionally.   Heck, your dog loves you unconditionally.  The cat doesn’t give a flip.

You see, I think people have this love concept really confused.  When people say “I love you,” what they really mean is, “as long as you are the way I want you to be.”   People confuse love with control.  

Shoot, I know some folks who allege to be in love when in reality, I don’t even think they’re in “like.”  That song has some truth to it.  Think about it.  Do you treat people you like better than the ones you say you love?  Do you try to control your friends?  Are you not accepting of your friends as they are?  Sure, if they’re screwing up their life, you might say something, but isn’t real friendship one of those “live and let live” philosophies and that’s why the friendship works?  There’s something unconditional about it. 

When you build a relationship with a partner, build a friendship.  Sure the sex is great and the physical attraction is overwhelming, but be sure to ask yourself…”how’s this friendship going?”  Because if you aren’t building a friendship…well, you’re probably building a mistake.

So where did we learn about love?  Those first seven years of your life were critically important in learning about love.   You may have developed some concepts or beliefs about love just by watching your parents.  You may have developed concepts about love based on your experiences.     What are your concepts about love?  What expectations do you place on people you love?  What expectations do you place on people who love you?

Grab a sheet of paper and fill in this sentence with as many sentences as you can.  Don’t think, just write.   Just let it flow with as much as you want to say….and don’t judge anything you write down!

Since you say you love me, you will______________(start writing how they should be).

Since I love you, you will________________(start writing how they should be)

This will help some of you who have no idea of the conditions you place on others who say they love you or the ones you love.

Now, once you have your list recall the times you went over your list with your loved one.  Uh…let me guess….did you skip that step?  For some of you, that’s a damn good idea.  Because when you haul out your list of expectations, the last good vision you may have of your partner is his or her butt going out the door - fast.

“But I wasn’t through,” you shout to no one there.

You see, all that list says is “these are the things I expect of you since you love me and because I love you.”  But, let’s see…you came in alone and you’re going out alone….where does it say that you find someone to own while you’re here.

Now, don’t beat yourself up.  You’d probably run too  if they hauled out their list of expectations. 

You see, we live in two worlds at the same time.  Now that sounds like a cliche, but it really isn’t.  On the one hand is the physical world, in which you are doing things, and on the other hand is the mental, spiritual world, where you are thinking or sensing things.  

 The mental part helps you get organized; the physical part helps you get it done.  When you think about what you are doing and doing what you’re thinking about, you’re in balance.   Most of us are not in balance.  We think something while doing another….and label it “multi-tasking.” 

So the key to having inner peace in a relationship is to not judge…to understand that everything she does to tick you off, is something similar to what you do.  Everything he does to tick you off is something similar to what you do!  You cannot see a flaw in him or her that you don’t already have.  So before you try to take the splinter out of his or her eye, take the log out of your own.

In other words, quit judging yourself.   Start seeing the best in yourself.  If you were brought up by people who had the tendency to focus on your flaws, then seeing the best in yourself is something you might need a little help with.  Come back here often, as that’s my specialty.  I’ll have a website up later where you can sign up for some cool free stuff.

Does this interest you?  Let me know!  Otherwise I just practicing typing with my angels, which is not a bad thing.  But they already know all this!

Measuring Growth

When you grow through life, you grow through stages.  Now it’s easy to measure physical growth.  Who hasn’t had someone take out the yard stick, lay it on your head to create a mark on a door frame or wall to measure your growth.   At some point the height and weight growth stops…but for some of us (in fact for a lot of us) later in life the weight growth starts again, usually without your permission.  But how do you know if you’re really “growing” as a person?   Well, there’s are a number of ways.  

1.  Experiences that used to be difficult become easier.   

2.  You feel more comfortable in a leadership role.

3.  You see yourself as a “kinder, gentler” soul, who is capable of setting boundaries.

4.  You find yourself willing to take on new challenges.

5.  You see new challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than an experience that will expose your weaknesses. 

6.  The qualities or experiences you see in others that used to bother you, no longer impact you anymore.

The things (qualities etc) you see in people that bother you are a reflection of a part of yourself that you have yet to accept or understand.   Let that one sink in for a while.    The qualities and attributes you admire in another is evidence of talents and atributes that you have.   It’s probable you haven’t become aware of their unfoldment into your experiences.   Are you starting to see why learning from your experiences is so important.   That’s the essences of awareness…aware of what you are experiencing.

Now the good news is that someone who is always acts like a jerk is just reminding you of the few times you act like a jerk.   But it’s the jerk in you that sees the jerk in them.   The key is to find out why you think that person is a jerk…and start working to “heal” that area within yourself.  The more you see how much you have in common with someone, the easier it is to melt the mental barriers you think divide you.

There’s a technique from the Avatar program called “Just Like Me.”  You walk through a grocery store and everyone you see you mentally say, “Just like me, that person wants more _______ in his/her life.  Happiness, joy, money - whatever you want, just imagine that person is looking for something similar.   Notice what you experience.

Let’s say you see a child at the grocery store throwing a tantrum.  It bothers you!  You become critical of the child, the parent and the whole scene.  Your friend sees the same scene and is not even phased by the scene.  Why is that?  It could be that in your upbringing an outburst in a public place was greeted with looks that stimulated a fear for your well being!  In my day, we didn’t have public outbursts or tantrums in our family, not if sitting on a chair anytime soon was important to you!  That’s just the way it was.

So when I’d see a kid in the store erupt in one of those “I have to have that” moments, I’d kind of cringe and fear for the kid’s safety.  People who were actually allowed to have those tantrums, see another kid throw a tantrum and are not even phased by it.   I have a lot more room to grow when it comes to this area of life.

Now, when I could see those tantrums later and not be phased by them I knew I was growing.

I remember once there was another salesman in the company who was making cold calls on the phone.  And there was something about the way he called that really bothered me.  But I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.  He was definitely showing me something about myself that I didn’t enjoy.   But I kept working at it until one day I heard myself sounding just like the guy who was irritating me.  I was doing the same thing.  I figured it out, bingo, just like that.   A flash of awareness.

I got off the phone and celebrated - Once I had figured it out, boom it was gone and I felts about 50 lbs lighter.  Do you ever have a sudden realization about something and all of a sudden you feel lighter and brighter?  It’s like the fog lifting on the highway…you can relax and speed up a little, because your vision has become more clear. 

That’s what growing feels like.   You’ve moved through the fog of confusion to see things more clearly.   You laugh more easily, you smile more often and you day is filled with special moments.  That’s when you know you are growing - because you’re becoming more loving, more accepting and a kinder soul.   Actually you already are all those qualities - you’re just experiencing them more consistently.   Hang with me - you’re on the way to meeting an incredible person - YOU!

Hello world!

Just after the earth cooled an incredible young lady canceled a three year relationship and a prime rib dinner in one phone call. 

“So…you don’t want to go out tonight….OK, wanna come over and watch TV?”

“Excuse me, I misunderstood - never again?”

“You’re jokin!  You’re NOT jokin! - Oh (expletive deleted)”

I don’t want you to think that I’ve dwelled too much on that turning point in my life…but it was in August of 1972 - August 5th, to be honest.  Around 10:30 in the morning.  That started ”the search.”  

 If you haven’t started “the search” yet you’re in for a treat.   ”The Search” begins with one of those “how in the world did that happen” moments.   Ever wake up next to someone and wonder, “how in the world did I get here?”  She was probably faking sleep wondering the same thing…thinking “if I lay here quietly, maybe he’ll get up and get out of here.” 

Have you ever had a few “quiet moments” when you’ve asked the great unknown, “what the hell am I doing here?”  “Who am I?”  “How’d I get here?  What really happens when I die?”  

I don’t remember asking those thoughts, but after that phone call I knew it was time to figure out how in the world I was creating my experiences.  I picked up a book,  The Magic Power of Self-Image Psychology” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.   He was a famous plastic surgeon who realized that people he fixed still had a mental picture of their injuries.    He started working on helping people change the picture they had of themselves - thus the “self-image” had to be healed as well as their wounds.

My self-image needed major surgery back in those days - no minor surgery - major surgery.

That’s what started my “search.”  I was guided to move to Dallas, TX, where two years later I found a spiritual program called the Inner Peace Movement.  I was working on a film project.  The editor was enthusiastic three days in a row.  I wasn’t sure if he was “on ” anything, but whatever it was, I wanted to try it out.  He asked if I had ever heard of the Inner Peace Movement.  I almost fell out of the chair laughing…”is there really such a thing?”

“Sure,” he said, “it’s groups of people who meet in people’s home on a weekly basis…”

“No, ” I interrupted, “is there such a thing as Inner Peace?”  That’s where my head was at the time.  Remember, this is before Wayne Dyer, before Hay House, before mediation or affirmations.  This is pioneer stuff.

And he told me two things that forever changed my life.   Warning!  Life Changing Info Ahead!  Click now or forever be changed!

A.  I am a soul with a body, not a body with a soul.  That was the first thing I had heard in my life that really made sense!

B.  I have a team of angels that have been working with me before I was born.   And I could establish a two-way communication with them.   (Whoa!)

So that’s what I did the next day - I went to Judith Phelan’s home and spent a little more than an hour with her.  She told me more about myself in that one hour than anyone ever had.  I told her she was a gifted psychic.  She told me - “Everyone is.”

She got all the information about me from my team.  She then introduced me to a technique that without question established with 100% certainty that I did have a team of angels, master souls, spiritual guidance - whatever name you want to use doesn’t matter.  I have them and so do you!  Ever get goose bumps?  Chills?  That’s your angels.

Your energy works at a certain speed and frequency.  Their energy is more refined…and a lot faster.  They don’t have to carry around a lot of emotional baggage.  In fact, if you think about it, there are days when your energy is light, bright and moving quickly and other days when your energy is a little sluggish 0r “heavy.” 

Well, this blog is about learning more about you!  Because, let’s face it.  You are the most important person on the planet to you!  Who breathes for you?  Who eats when you’re hungry?  You may think other people are more important, but hey, it’s just you and me now…you can be honest.  You are IT!   You were alive before you were born and you’ll be alive after you leave.  You have never died and you will never die.  You check into that body, enter the world on your “birth” day and check out when you pass on.  But you don’t  die!  No one does.

Now that brings up a very important point….where do you go when you die?  That’s the next topic!  Just remember, errors only need to be corrected.  And true forgiveness is seeing the error was never made in the first place.  I don’ t know who will find this blog, but you’re welcome here.  There are two things you can share with the world…your opinion and your experiences….that’s it!   Enjoy the journey!  A lifetime on planet earth is like the blinking of an eye in the time span of eternity.  I learned that from Francisco Coll, founder the the Inner Peace Movement and Americana Learship College.  More on all that next time!