THE POWER OF BELIEFS

When I was younger I realized that the “love” I was taught was conditional.  I was angry because I wasn’t loved unconditionally.  I dreamed unconditional love existed, though at the time, really all  I wanted was to be accepted. I wanted my heroes to like me.  I imagined that’s how the angels loved…unconditionally.  There was one problem…my love (or what I thought was my love) was conditional as well.  I was judging others for doing exactly what I was doing. 

I remember a time when I put a penny in my mouth and Mom yelled, grabbed the penny out and was hysterical about the fact that doctors would have to pump my stomach if I had swallowed it.  I was scared to death and felt horribly guilty that I had displeased Mom so much.   

At that time I made an unconscious decision to not have money in my life…and when it would come to me, as it would, I would find ways to get rid of it.  I’m not sure if this was to please Mom (desire) or just keep myself from experiencing that anger (fear) and sheer terror she had expressed about my having the penny in my mouth.  Oh yeah, she also said it was dirty.  So the confused conclusion (belief) became “money was dirty and it would cause me to go to the hospital.”  Good luck trying to get wealthy with that belief system.   In fact, that belief was convinced it was in my best interest to not have money.  That’s how strong the belief was.  In the early 80’s I was in sales and earning more than I ever had in my life. I was good!  Guess what?  You got it. I got ulcers.  My stomach started bleeding…everyday.  Guess where I ended up?  In the hospital, as they healed up the four ulcers.     Hey, that belief was accurate.  If I have money, I’ll end up in the hospital with stomach problems. I blamed the ulcers on a lot of factors – stress at work, stress at home…just a lot of stress.  But the real stress was the simple fact that I was afraid that money was going to make me sick.  When I got some money, I did get sick. But the money didn’t make me sick, the belief did. It was then I began to understand a simple concept…”your experiences confirm your beliefs.”  Meditate on that one for a moment.  I got this understanding in the mid 80’s.   If you don’t enjoy what you are experiencing, change your beliefs.  To change your beliefs, you must first know what they are.  How do you know what you really believe, as opposed to what you think you believe?  Check your experiences.   See how it works? So today I sit on the precipice of great wealth, knowing a couple of things.  The money won’t hurt me.  My beliefs won’t hurt me.  I have healed those beliefs.  How?  By loving those beliefs unconditionally!  Errors only need to be corrected.  They don’t have to be attacked, ridiculed or humiliated.  They just need to see that the current line of thinking is counter productive.   The belief, as is the case with most false beliefs, was created in a moment of sheer panic by a 3 year old…and that 3-year-old was making the best decision he could at the time.  That 3-year-old made that decision out of love and concern.  If you thought something was going to harm you, you’d avoid it wouldn’t you?  If you thought something was going to harm your children, you’d warn them to stay away from it wouldn’t you?  Sure you would.  So there’s no reason to blame Mom for her panic or blame Billy for the decisions he made.  Everyone at that moment was doing the best they could.  There’s nothing to judge, nothing to be angry about and nothing to hold any grudges about. That’s what the 3-year-old was doing…protecting me! He saw protecting me from the harmful side affects of money as his role and he kept doing it all my life.  Unconsciously.  Have you ever had some money and the next thing you know it’s gone?  You spend a little here and a little there, you eat a little nicer and the next thing you know, the money is gone!  “Dang, where’d my money go?”  That silent, invisible belief was at work in my experiences.  The little guy was just looking out for me.  But now he understands that his role is complete.   I won’t be swallowing pennies or putting money in my mouth, so it’s OK for me to have money!  I know this sounds silly to some of you, but you may not realize how much your inner child has been running your life.  I appreciate that kid in me.  He’s a beautiful soul looking out for my best interest.  And because he loves me unconditionally, he’s willing to leave, knowing he’s done his job and his work is completed now.  He sees the error in his thinking and from a new frame of reference he is able to let go of the need to protect me from the dangers of money.  There is no danger. 

Does this make sense to you?  Enjoy your day!  Leave a note if you’d like.  Tell me the one thing you’d really like to learn about universal, unconditional love.

Is Real Love Actually Friendship

Around 1981 I wrote a song that said essentially:

“We treat people who we like, a lot better than the ones we love. And I got this funny little feelin’ that our marriage didn’t come from above.  So I don’t want you to love me, ’cause the price is too high to pay.  If you don’t mind please just like me – and we’ll get along better that way!”

That’s when I started really looking into this whole concept of “love.”  Because I know that real love is unconditional.   The angels love you unconditionally.   Heck, your dog loves you unconditionally.  The cat doesn’t give a flip.

You see, I think people have this love concept really confused.  When people say “I love you,” what they really mean is, “as long as you are the way I want you to be.”   People confuse love with control.  

Shoot, I know some folks who allege to be in love when in reality, I don’t even think they’re in “like.”  That song has some truth to it.  Think about it.  Do you treat people you like better than the ones you say you love?  Do you try to control your friends?  Are you not accepting of your friends as they are?  Sure, if they’re screwing up their life, you might say something, but isn’t real friendship one of those “live and let live” philosophies and that’s why the friendship works?  There’s something unconditional about it. 

When you build a relationship with a partner, build a friendship.  Sure the sex is great and the physical attraction is overwhelming, but be sure to ask yourself…”how’s this friendship going?”  Because if you aren’t building a friendship…well, you’re probably building a mistake.

So where did we learn about love?  Those first seven years of your life were critically important in learning about love.   You may have developed some concepts or beliefs about love just by watching your parents.  You may have developed concepts about love based on your experiences.     What are your concepts about love?  What expectations do you place on people you love?  What expectations do you place on people who love you?

Grab a sheet of paper and fill in this sentence with as many sentences as you can.  Don’t think, just write.   Just let it flow with as much as you want to say….and don’t judge anything you write down!

Since you say you love me, you will______________(start writing how they should be).

Since I love you, you will________________(start writing how they should be)

This will help some of you who have no idea of the conditions you place on others who say they love you or the ones you love.

Now, once you have your list recall the times you went over your list with your loved one.  Uh…let me guess….did you skip that step?  For some of you, that’s a damn good idea.  Because when you haul out your list of expectations, the last good vision you may have of your partner is his or her butt going out the door – fast.

“But I wasn’t through,” you shout to no one there.

You see, all that list says is “these are the things I expect of you since you love me and because I love you.”  But, let’s see…you came in alone and you’re going out alone….where does it say that you find someone to own while you’re here.

Now, don’t beat yourself up.  You’d probably run too  if they hauled out their list of expectations. 

You see, we live in two worlds at the same time.  Now that sounds like a cliche, but it really isn’t.  On the one hand is the physical world, in which you are doing things, and on the other hand is the mental, spiritual world, where you are thinking or sensing things.  

 The mental part helps you get organized; the physical part helps you get it done.  When you think about what you are doing and doing what you’re thinking about, you’re in balance.   Most of us are not in balance.  We think something while doing another….and label it “multi-tasking.” 

So the key to having inner peace in a relationship is to not judge…to understand that everything she does to tick you off, is something similar to what you do.  Everything he does to tick you off is something similar to what you do!  You cannot see a flaw in him or her that you don’t already have.  So before you try to take the splinter out of his or her eye, take the log out of your own.

In other words, quit judging yourself.   Start seeing the best in yourself.  If you were brought up by people who had the tendency to focus on your flaws, then seeing the best in yourself is something you might need a little help with.  Come back here often, as that’s my specialty.  I’ll have a website up later where you can sign up for some cool free stuff.

Does this interest you?  Let me know!  Otherwise I just practicing typing with my angels, which is not a bad thing.  But they already know all this!