THE POWER OF BELIEFS

When I was younger I realized that the “love” I was taught was conditional.  I was angry because I wasn’t loved unconditionally.  I dreamed unconditional love existed, though at the time, really all  I wanted was to be accepted. I wanted my heroes to like me.  I imagined that’s how the angels loved…unconditionally.  There was one problem…my love (or what I thought was my love) was conditional as well.  I was judging others for doing exactly what I was doing. 

I remember a time when I put a penny in my mouth and Mom yelled, grabbed the penny out and was hysterical about the fact that doctors would have to pump my stomach if I had swallowed it.  I was scared to death and felt horribly guilty that I had displeased Mom so much.   

At that time I made an unconscious decision to not have money in my life…and when it would come to me, as it would, I would find ways to get rid of it.  I’m not sure if this was to please Mom (desire) or just keep myself from experiencing that anger (fear) and sheer terror she had expressed about my having the penny in my mouth.  Oh yeah, she also said it was dirty.  So the confused conclusion (belief) became “money was dirty and it would cause me to go to the hospital.”  Good luck trying to get wealthy with that belief system.   In fact, that belief was convinced it was in my best interest to not have money.  That’s how strong the belief was.  In the early 80’s I was in sales and earning more than I ever had in my life. I was good!  Guess what?  You got it. I got ulcers.  My stomach started bleeding…everyday.  Guess where I ended up?  In the hospital, as they healed up the four ulcers.     Hey, that belief was accurate.  If I have money, I’ll end up in the hospital with stomach problems. I blamed the ulcers on a lot of factors – stress at work, stress at home…just a lot of stress.  But the real stress was the simple fact that I was afraid that money was going to make me sick.  When I got some money, I did get sick. But the money didn’t make me sick, the belief did. It was then I began to understand a simple concept…”your experiences confirm your beliefs.”  Meditate on that one for a moment.  I got this understanding in the mid 80’s.   If you don’t enjoy what you are experiencing, change your beliefs.  To change your beliefs, you must first know what they are.  How do you know what you really believe, as opposed to what you think you believe?  Check your experiences.   See how it works? So today I sit on the precipice of great wealth, knowing a couple of things.  The money won’t hurt me.  My beliefs won’t hurt me.  I have healed those beliefs.  How?  By loving those beliefs unconditionally!  Errors only need to be corrected.  They don’t have to be attacked, ridiculed or humiliated.  They just need to see that the current line of thinking is counter productive.   The belief, as is the case with most false beliefs, was created in a moment of sheer panic by a 3 year old…and that 3-year-old was making the best decision he could at the time.  That 3-year-old made that decision out of love and concern.  If you thought something was going to harm you, you’d avoid it wouldn’t you?  If you thought something was going to harm your children, you’d warn them to stay away from it wouldn’t you?  Sure you would.  So there’s no reason to blame Mom for her panic or blame Billy for the decisions he made.  Everyone at that moment was doing the best they could.  There’s nothing to judge, nothing to be angry about and nothing to hold any grudges about. That’s what the 3-year-old was doing…protecting me! He saw protecting me from the harmful side affects of money as his role and he kept doing it all my life.  Unconsciously.  Have you ever had some money and the next thing you know it’s gone?  You spend a little here and a little there, you eat a little nicer and the next thing you know, the money is gone!  “Dang, where’d my money go?”  That silent, invisible belief was at work in my experiences.  The little guy was just looking out for me.  But now he understands that his role is complete.   I won’t be swallowing pennies or putting money in my mouth, so it’s OK for me to have money!  I know this sounds silly to some of you, but you may not realize how much your inner child has been running your life.  I appreciate that kid in me.  He’s a beautiful soul looking out for my best interest.  And because he loves me unconditionally, he’s willing to leave, knowing he’s done his job and his work is completed now.  He sees the error in his thinking and from a new frame of reference he is able to let go of the need to protect me from the dangers of money.  There is no danger. 

Does this make sense to you?  Enjoy your day!  Leave a note if you’d like.  Tell me the one thing you’d really like to learn about universal, unconditional love.

Measuring Growth

When you grow through life, you grow through stages.  Now it’s easy to measure physical growth.  Who hasn’t had someone take out the yard stick, lay it on your head to create a mark on a door frame or wall to measure your growth.   At some point the height and weight growth stops…but for some of us (in fact for a lot of us) later in life the weight growth starts again, usually without your permission.  But how do you know if you’re really “growing” as a person?   Well, there’s are a number of ways.  

1.  Experiences that used to be difficult become easier.   

2.  You feel more comfortable in a leadership role.

3.  You see yourself as a “kinder, gentler” soul, who is capable of setting boundaries.

4.  You find yourself willing to take on new challenges.

5.  You see new challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than an experience that will expose your weaknesses. 

6.  The qualities or experiences you see in others that used to bother you, no longer impact you anymore.

The things (qualities etc) you see in people that bother you are a reflection of a part of yourself that you have yet to accept or understand.   Let that one sink in for a while.    The qualities and attributes you admire in another is evidence of talents and atributes that you have.   It’s probable you haven’t become aware of their unfoldment into your experiences.   Are you starting to see why learning from your experiences is so important.   That’s the essences of awareness…aware of what you are experiencing.

Now the good news is that someone who is always acts like a jerk is just reminding you of the few times you act like a jerk.   But it’s the jerk in you that sees the jerk in them.   The key is to find out why you think that person is a jerk…and start working to “heal” that area within yourself.  The more you see how much you have in common with someone, the easier it is to melt the mental barriers you think divide you.

There’s a technique from the Avatar program called “Just Like Me.”  You walk through a grocery store and everyone you see you mentally say, “Just like me, that person wants more _______ in his/her life.  Happiness, joy, money – whatever you want, just imagine that person is looking for something similar.   Notice what you experience.

Let’s say you see a child at the grocery store throwing a tantrum.  It bothers you!  You become critical of the child, the parent and the whole scene.  Your friend sees the same scene and is not even phased by the scene.  Why is that?  It could be that in your upbringing an outburst in a public place was greeted with looks that stimulated a fear for your well being!  In my day, we didn’t have public outbursts or tantrums in our family, not if sitting on a chair anytime soon was important to you!  That’s just the way it was.

So when I’d see a kid in the store erupt in one of those “I have to have that” moments, I’d kind of cringe and fear for the kid’s safety.  People who were actually allowed to have those tantrums, see another kid throw a tantrum and are not even phased by it.   I have a lot more room to grow when it comes to this area of life.

Now, when I could see those tantrums later and not be phased by them I knew I was growing.

I remember once there was another salesman in the company who was making cold calls on the phone.  And there was something about the way he called that really bothered me.  But I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.  He was definitely showing me something about myself that I didn’t enjoy.   But I kept working at it until one day I heard myself sounding just like the guy who was irritating me.  I was doing the same thing.  I figured it out, bingo, just like that.   A flash of awareness.

I got off the phone and celebrated – Once I had figured it out, boom it was gone and I felts about 50 lbs lighter.  Do you ever have a sudden realization about something and all of a sudden you feel lighter and brighter?  It’s like the fog lifting on the highway…you can relax and speed up a little, because your vision has become more clear. 

That’s what growing feels like.   You’ve moved through the fog of confusion to see things more clearly.   You laugh more easily, you smile more often and you day is filled with special moments.  That’s when you know you are growing – because you’re becoming more loving, more accepting and a kinder soul.   Actually you already are all those qualities – you’re just experiencing them more consistently.   Hang with me – you’re on the way to meeting an incredible person – YOU!